So You Had a Bad Day

Every now and then, you'll have a bad day. You'll feel like crap, or you'll screw something up, or something bad could have happened.

The fact is:: It's gonna happen. And it's gonna suck.

Just know that it's normal to feel sad sometimes.

I hate how Society.. Wait.. I hate Society in general. But I hate how it has made it so that people can't be sad without thinking there's something wrong with them.

Society has made the people of today think that there's something wrong with them. That they're broken somehow. And sometimes, you are broken somehow. And you hit Rock Bottom.
But sometimes, Rock Bottom is the best place to rebuild.

Yeah, it sucks. And yeah, it hurts. But the thing is, you gotta start somewhere.

Old Friends

Do you have an old friend?

Someone you don't talk to anymore?

Someone you wish you talked to, but you can't?

That one person that knows everything about you?

Or, at least, used to?

The person who, without, you don't know if you would have made it through your high school years? The person you REALLY transferred schools for? But then never got to see? Until your boyfriend moved? And you two broke up? And then you got your best friend back?

Do you have one of those?

Someone who broke you into millions of little pieces? But, for some reason, you still wish you talked? You still wish you spoke? You still wish you saw them?

Because I have one of those friends.

Old friends.

And I'm not gonna lie to you, I wish he still talked to me. I wish he still hugged me. I wish he still thought about me. Cause only God knows how much I think about him.

He was my life, my struggle, my happiness, my future.

We were in high school, so of course I was thinking way too far ahead.

We were in high school, so of course I didn't know what I was talking about.

We were in high school, so of course I thought he'd never leave.

We were in high school, so of course I was in over my head.

And, of course, I wish he would read this and come back to me. But he wouldn't read this. He wouldn't listen.

I just miss him.

EA

So I'm writing my EA. Which is an Educational Autobiography. And it is hecka hard. HECKA people. I said HECKA.

But seriously, oh my gosh, I wanna cry. It has to be 8-10 pages. I have 6. And I can not think of anything else to write.


Okay, I just re-wrote, like, the whole thing. I now have 4 pages single spaced, and once I'm done, I'll have about 4 and a half of 5. Which, double spaced, will transfer into about 9 or 10. And that's how many I need!
MAN I'M AWESOME.

I FINISHED!!!!!!

This is Golden

For the past two nights, I've pulled an all nighter. Proceeded to go to bed at 6 in the morning. And then slept in till noon. I fear this is not a good habit to get into.

It's a problem.

So, because of this, I missed my math class again.

Again.

And remember that one guy? Yeah... I just wanted to mention him again.

IN OTHER NEWS I RAN A MILE AND A HALF YESTERDAY.

Woot Woot.

Well, sorta Woot Woot. I ran it at like 1:30 at night so... That was sorta a bad idea.

I think I'm becoming crazy.

In other news again, I got Draw Something again.

Draw Something is a guessing game, where you draw something and the other person guesses what the thing is with the letters given. I got it because Jessica, the girl sitting next to me in Psychology, got it again.. So I got it. And now we're playing!

The guy I'm sitting next to smells good.

Huh.

Weird how things can smell... Like, somewhere, I learned that you can recognize a smell, but you can't, like, remember a smell when you can't smell it. Weird, huh?

Way Cray.

Tomato Soup

Hello World.

Today I am sick.

Still.

You know that boy I have a crush on? Well... I have no new news on that... But I just thought I'd mention him.. So yeah.. That's all.

So I'm sick, right? So Golden brings me soup.. Wait... Did I already tell you this story? I don't know, I'm going to tell you again if I already did.. Sorry not Sorry...

So Golden brings me soup, cause I'm sickly, and then he has to leave to go back to work (he left work to bring me soup, how sweet!). So I start to make the soup, I read the instructions, and I put it in a bowl and nuke it for two minutes. Then, when it's done, I take it out with my handy dandy home made hot pads (a bunch of paper towels folded up) and stir it, then I start to eat it.
Now, this is canned soup, tomato to be exact, it was a very.. Strong taste.
So I take the can out of the trash and see if I made it right. And right there, above the instructions on how to cook it, is::

Mix soup with one can of Water?? WHAT IS THIS SORCERY!? WHO HAS EVER HEARD OF MIXING WATER WITH SOUP?! I SURE HAVEN'T!!

So, by this point, I've eaten about one third of the soup already. So here I am, with nasty soup that I need to add water to. So I add a little water. Then a little more. Then a little more. Then, I realize, I need to nuke it for a second time.

A SECOND TIME?! This soup is turning out to be a lot more work than I was committed to.

But, because I was so happy that Golden brought me soup, I kept to it and made my tomato soup right.

And that, my dear friends, is the end of my story.

The end.

Meet Liz

Meet Liz. She's in institute choir and makes me happy when I go and see her. She has her hair up in a ponytail, and it always looks really good.

She's also setting me up with this cute boy for the institute dance. No Big Deal but its a Huge Deal.

So Liz is super cool. We're totally just chilling here, slouching, on our computers, saying nothing, and we're both just super content. Now THAT'S real friendship.

Also, I'm still sick. And it still sucks.

Sleep

I learned, at the Doctors, that you are supposed to sleep extra when you're sick. Because your body is using extra energy to get you better.

BUT HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO DO THAT WITH A 7:30AM CLASS?!

And, of course, I need to attempt to have a social life.

So...

Yeah. I'm gonna be sick for a while.

In other news, I'm in psychology, and I'm sitting by Golden and Jessica again. They are the coolest cats I know.

I've decided something.

I've decided to be nicer..

Not use the word Hate.

Smile at more people.

Less time spent worrying.

More time spent on other people.

I want to be better. Because, when I'm better, I feel better. And when I feel better, I act better. And when I act better, I am better.. And so on.

But I'll start tomorrow.

I'm too sick to worry about that shiz.

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I think I'm getting sick.

I don't feel very good.

I'm feeling a bit under the weather.

How else am I supposed to say that I feel like Sh*t.

My nose is freaking out and totally hates me. My throat is swollen and soar. I keep coughing. I have a headache. My eyes are watery and puffy. And I'm way dizzy.

It's a real problem.

Crushes

I have a crush on this boy. It's official. And you know what?

IT TOTALLY SUCKS.

Because he just got out of a relationship.
Because he doesn't live too close to me.
Because relationships don't usually end well.
Because I don't think he likes me like that.
Because.. Just... Because!

This guy.. He's simply awesome.

He's hilarious for starters, which is the best. He's charming.

And a total gentleman.
He opens doors for me and carries my stuff. He offers me his jacket.

He's awesome.

I've recently learned a lot about him. And I realized, I like this boy.

Which, like I said before, totally sucks.

These White Men Are Dangerous

Humans are destructive.

Sometimes, people confuse me.

#StoryOfMyLife

Okay. This is so funny. Cause it's so true.

AAAAAHAHAHAHAHA

CLICK HERE

Home

Golden drove me home Yesterday. And Today we're going back to college.
But before that, guess what's gonna happen?

I'm gonna stuff myself with Manicotti.

And it will be awesome.

So I'm back at college. the Junc and Marketplace are both closed. So I have nothing to eat. Except MANICOTTI! My mom let me take the left overs back to USU!

AH!

In other news, I think I might be getting sick. My noes is freaking out, I keep sneezing, and I have a bunch of mucus.. So... That's gross.

I might go take a nap. I don't feel very good. I really want to eat a Mango.

Today is not a good day.

Aaaaaand I'm never swimming in the Ocean again.

Also

I'm in Love

I have a confession.

I think I'm in love.

But you see, this is not like normal love. This is special love.
This is what everyone wants.

This kind of love won't give up on you. This kind of love won't judge you, because it already knows everything about you.


I love myself.


I know, that sounds way conceded. But it's true. I love myself. And it's the best feeling in the world. I will never leave myself, I will always accept myself, I will love myself for forever.

Loving yourself is hard. It takes time. But it's worth it.

Everybody makes mistakes. Everyone is dumb sometimes. Heck, I should be doing math homework right now.
But we're only Human. And we need to realize that.

We break down. We cry. We make mistakes. We are stupid sometimes. We feel heartbreak. We get depressed. We do all of these things, and we blame ourselves for it. Yet, it's our nature. It's who we are.
We are only Human. We bleed. We bruise. We blame ourselves for everything that happens.

Society has really messed up the views we have on ourselves. And I absolutely hate it. Why do we have to be skinny to love ourselves? Why can't we cry or else we will be labeled as weak? Why

I've never understood Society. It has made it so we cannot be happy. No matter what we look like, how we act, or what we do.

And, for what?

Life gets so confusing.

And we feel so small sometimes.
And we break down.
And we hate ourselves for it.

We hate ourselves for being fat. We hate ourselves for making mistakes. We hate ourselves for breaking down. We hate ourselves for crying.
We hate ourselves.

But I'm hear to say something.

LOVE YOURSELF.

Because I love you! And someone out there loves you too! Loves every little thing about yourself that you hate.

Loves that you don't have a thigh gap. Loves that you have crooked teeth. Loves that you are trying. Loves that you are you!

So be happy. Love yourself. And become the person you can, and will, love.

Treat Others Like You Want To Be Treated

I try to give people the benefit of the doubt. Because I want people to give me the benefit of the doubt.
I don't judge people. Because I don't want to be judged.
I won't hate. Because I don't want anyone to hate me.

Just because someone says something mean about you, does NOT mean you have to say something mean about them to make yourself look good or feel better.
And it doesn't make you feel better.

Yogurt and Granola

In the Junc, they put out Yogurt and Granola. And I have tried so hard to find the right Yogurt and Granola that they use. I found the yogurt. But I can't find the Granola.
The closest I've gotten is Original Yogurt and Granola Bars mashed up together in the Yogurt. I just can't seem to find the right Granola, and it makes me really mad.

Things are awkward.

Sometimes, people smell bad. Like, not right now. I'm sitting next to great smelling people. But when people DO smell bad, it just gets awkward.
I mean, what do you do? Offer them a piece of gum? THAT WON'T GET RID OF THE STENCH. It's a real problem in today's society.

You know what else is a problem today?

World Hunger. Abuse. And Natural Disasters.

Now that we've gone through all the bad stuff, let's talk about all the good stuff!

I'm sitting next to Golden, he's cool.
I GOT to go to math today (I didn't HAVE to, I GOT to).
Also, my hair looks awesome today.

Whelp. That's about all I have to say...

Oh, something else, I want a castle.

Whelp.

I missed church today, cause I was too busy... Sleeping.. I know, I know. I'm a horrible person. I should go to church. Now I'm sitting here listening to music and blogging.


Okay. You all knew this was coming. But it's okay. Because I'm slowly starting to accept the fact that VALENTINES DAY IS ONLY 5 DAYS AWAY.

PISS.

You wanna know my plans for Valentines day? Watch TV and eat food. Yep. I'm a PARTAY ANIMAL.

When I think about Valentines Day, I just wanna throw up.

There are only two Holidays I hate. I guess I shouldn't say there are only two. There are two. Is it bad that I don't like two Holidays? I don't hate them, just dislike.

Those two Holidays would be Valentines Day (duh) and Halloween. But we're not talking about that right now.




Whoops, I forgot to Publish that..

And now I'm sitting in the TS waiting for my Psychology class to start.

And you know what that means?

....

VALENTINES DAY IS ONLY 4 DAYS AWAY.

And you know what that means?

5 DAYS TILL CANDY GOES ON SALE.

THAT's what I'm excited for.

In other news, I'm sitting next to Golden again.
Bad news about Golden, he has a girlfriend. So I can't go on a date with him. And then be his one true love. It's sad because I was starting to like him a lot. But oh well.
Next time.

FILTER GOLDEN. FILTER.

He's been talking about how, now that he has a girlfriend, he needs to filter everything that comes out of his mouth. Which is funny, cause he doesn't

Man, that's kind of a bummer. He's cute.. But now he has a girlfriend.

PISS.

Now I have to filter everything I say!

PISS.... AGAIN.

Cray

People keep looking over my shoulder and that's pissing me off. People keep talking during the Olympics and that's pissing me off. People are breathing and that's pissing me off.
As you can tell, I'm in a really bad mood.

I should really just go take a nap, wake up, and retry the whole "Have a Good Day" thing. But the thing is, I'm watching the Olympics!

So other than being pissed, my day has been... Well. All day has been me pissed. So.. Yeah.

I'm gonna go take a nap.

Saying bye to someone and then realizing you're walking the same way..

Could possibly be the worst thing in the world.

My loneliness is killing me..

Britney Spears baby baby.

In other words. Valentines Day. In T Minus 7 days.

I'm not too excited. But you knew that.

In other news, I'm learning THIS SONG on Drop (my uke). I'm hoping I can learn it and then play/sing it with someone at POBEV. But I don't know who yet. I was thinking Jess Jess or Brian. Also, I'm learning Better Dig Two on my Banjo, who's name is Richard Parker.

I love Richard Parker.

And guess what?? I'm going on a DATE on Tuesday!

First, Tuesday? I know, random.

Second, A DATE?! Yes, a date. With a boy named Sherwin. And you know what I'm most nervous for? I'll call him by the wrong name or something. Now THAT would be embarrassing. HAHAHA JUST KIDDING I don't get embarrassed, you know that.

Well.

20% and I Thought I Could Leave

My laptop is at 20%. It's gonna die within the nest half hour. Hopefully it lives. I should probably get off my blog.
I'm in my classroom observations and taking a quick break to blog..I should get back to taking notes...
I'll finish this later!!
Also, I have two texts and I want to know who they are from.. But I can't check my phone, cause I'm at an observation.

PS I only have 13% left.

PS 9%

PS 5%

Okay I'm back.
I thought I could leave my observation at 11:00.. But it turns out I had it till 11:30.. So.. I had to stay for another half hour.
The Struggle is Real people, the Struggle is Real.

So for a second there, I thought I was done for the day. But then I remembered I have a study session for the Praxis.
FML.

a No One that wants to become your Someone

Well, that's adorable.

I have an ask.fm. It's this website where people can ask you questions anonymously and it's awesome. So someone asked me to post a selfie, so I did. Then, someone said "Nice eyes." And I said "Thanks:) Who is this?" And they said "A no one that wants to become your someone."
Okay. I don't know if this is just a joke or serious, but either way THAT WAS FREAKING ADORABLE. Oh my gosh.
Like,
Seriously,
Adorable.
In other news.. I can't stop thinking about it. That was just the cutest thing to say, ever. And it was probable just a joke. But it was still super cute.

That's all,
Have a great day!

Gravity

I know there are a lot of rules to posting on Facebook and Instagram. Like, you never post two things in the same day, and stuff like that. But here's the thing. I've never heard anything like that for blogging. So I will post as much as I want, about whatever I want, and you'll like it.

I've been painting a lot. I love painting. It's one of my favorite things.
What's that? You want to see what I've been working on? Well okay, if you insist.

There you go. It's not my best, but it's not my worst.

I decided something a little while ago.
I decided that I wouldn't care what people thought of my art. I would paint and draw and art all over the place, and if it was good enough for me, it was good enough for you. I love that way of thinking. Not giving a crap about others' opinions. But then I forgot to think like that, and I started caring what others thought again. It's a real problem. Because I don't like thinking about what others think about me and my talents. Or if they even think of them as talents. I don't know. Maybe I'm thinking too much. I probably am.
But here's the thing,
I don't care too much.

Let's Stab Rude People with a Mechanical Pencil.. JK That's Wrong.

I really want a Mechanical Pencil. I love writing with them. So if anyone is going to the store soon, invite me so I can buy some.
Also, I should be doing homework right now. But I can't, cause I don't have a pencil..

So today I taught half of my ELED 1010 class how to draw a cartoon person. It was awesome because they all laughed and thought I was funny. I love when people think I'm funny.

Last night I didn't feel very funny. I felt left out. Why do I always do that to myself? I make myself feel like I don't belong. Does anyone else do that? It totally sucks. And then just the little things people do make you feel like they hate you. It's not very fun.
Lik, last night, I told the driver that she might want to turn on her defroster. Being nice and thinking she might want to while she backed up. But did anyone think that was nice? No. They all stared saying "Wow Sierra, back seat driver" and "Oh my gosh Sierra you're so rude" and stuff like that. But I was just trying to be nice!
I feel like people don't like me because of the choices I make. Yeah, I make some bad ones, but that doesn't mean I'm a bad person.. Does it?

All The Time

People Piss me off.
But that's okay.

Again, the dreaded day is getting closer with every passing second.
And, once again, I will be single on Valentines Day.

But is being Single such a bad thing? No! I'm 18. Freaking 18. I don't wanna get married yet. I have so much life to live first. Finish school, maybe a mission, I don't know. But seriously, why is everyone in a rush to get married? It's not a big deal to wait a few years.
Oh please. Don't get me started.

Society sucks.

In other news, let's talk about something a little more cheery. Today I took a test, and I think I did not do very well.

Wow, that's not cheery at all..

Here's something. After my test, I hung out with Golden. And we boarded. And guess what? He complimented, said I was pretty good. Which feels awesome cause I've only been boarding for.. Like... 6 or 7 months. so that was awesome. I didn't even fall! So that's pretty cool.
Golden is a cool guy. I really like him. He came over the other day and just kept saying how cool I was, cause I like Pokemon, and play the Banjo and Uke, and Board. I don't know, but I like it. He's a really cool guy. He's funny too.

This post is a little bit random. Maybe I won't post it. I probably will.

MATH 1010

I'm in Math 1010. Yes, I know, that's the math for stupid people. SHUT UP.
Anyway. I'm having a hard time waking up for it every day (except tuesday), knowing that it's at 7:30 in the morning and I'm a college student.
But every time I miss the class, I miss the lesson. And I miss what will be on the homework. And I miss turning in the homework from the day before. So I have to go, or I'll fail.

It's quite difficult. A predicament, you might say.

Also, I seem to be growing a, quite large, pimple on the side of my lips. I think I will name it Julie.

Confusion

I missed my math class on friday, because I am a fool. But now I'm working on the homework, and it's hard. And also, I'm not even doing the homework because I'm too busy blogging.

Busy. That's the word.

I have the best roommate. She is my favorite person. She's such a good influence on me.

CLICK HERE TO SEE HER BLOG.

So I'm confused with my feelings. Feelings suck. Balls.

Also, today I bore my Testimony. I love Testimony Meeting. It's my favorite Sunday of the Month. I love hearing other peoples stories.

That's what makes me think that I might be a therapist when I grow up. I just don't know what to think with everything going on. I'm so confused on life. There are just so many different options ad so many different interests I have.

I want to be a teacher. So I would go into child psychology, right? But I wanna be an art teacher, so would I go into art therapy? Or maybe I should just drop out and be a hobo. Yeah. That's what I'll do. I'll live off of my $400 for the rest of my life. I think I can do that. Yeah. I can do that.

I'm also confused on life. What am I doing? What am I supposed to do? I DON'T KNOW.

People also confuse me.

Also, what's happening?

And also, I don't understand.

(Also I know that I'm saying also a lot.)

(But also, I love it.)

Sometimes

Sometimes I feel like being dramatic. So I am. And then other times, when I feel like being dramatic, I hold it all inside. Either way, it always sucks.
Sometimes I just wanna cry. But I don't do that anymore. I don't like to give people the satisfaction of knowing that they won. But Sometimes I cry anyways.
Sometimes I don't like people very much. So I scream and I yell and I break down and cry. And then my whole world crashes down all around me and I just want to curl up in a ball and sleep for forever. Forever and ever and ever.
Sometimes I am sorry. And I feel bad. Like right now. But Sometimes, I'm still mad. And I don't wanna know all the details about how awesome something went.
Sometimes I feel like my heart has been broken, even though my heart wasn't even part of the situation. And I just want to cry. Great. We're back to crying.
Sometimes I just want a hug. I want someone to tell me it's going to be okay.