Hermit is a Dwarf Hamster currently living at the Petsmart in Logan, Utah. And I love him.
Let me tell you the story about Hermit Sylvester.
Once upon a time I was with my awesome boyfriend at the marvelous store, Petsmart. We were looking around at the fish, thinking about which one to buy for my roommate for Christmas (we decided it would be best to let her pick). We were walking down all of the isles or Petsmart when we came across the Hamsters. I then said
"Boyfriend! Look! Hamsters! I must have one! That one!"
Now, this was a very spur of the moment thing, so therefore, I did not buy him. But as the semester went on, I continued to think about my dear friend, Hermit the Hamster. I decided that, after 3 weeks of thinking and weighing the pros and cons, I would not buy Hermit Sylvester. For I did not live in a pet friendly apartment.
But. Then. Over Christmas break (which is currently happening as we speak), I decided that I would move home. And you know what that means? I can get Hermit because my house is pet friendly!
When I came to this realization, I was overjoyed. But alas, my overjoy-ed-ness would not last for very long. For I had to talk to my parents about it first.
To Be Continued...
And there is the story about how Hermit Sylvester came to be in my life.
Now, what I am asking you, my dear blog readers of America and Beyond, is this: Please convince my parents to let me buy my beloved Hermit. For I love him.
So, there's this guy.
His name is Brennan.
And, even better, he's My Boyfriend!
I know what you're thinking. You're trying to figure out how I, Sierra Noel Osmun, got a boyfriend. And an adorable one at that.
Let me tell you how I did it in the most simple of steps.
Shower. This step is vital to the boyfriend-getting. It makes you smell bearable (depending on what you do in the shower [i.e. use soap] makes the smell change). And, when you smell bearable, people can talk to you, because they can't smell anything nauseating radiating off of your body.
-Step One and a Half.-
Dry off. You'd think this was obvious. But it is not so.
Try and not be awkward. But then be as awkward as you feel. Because it's always best to be yourself and not someone less awkward that you are.
Go outside. Okay, I know that this is a hard one, but you just gotta do it! You can wean yourself to it and go out a little more every day, or just do it fast like a bandaid.
Say hello to someone of the opposite gender. Or the same gender. I don't judge. But either way, you gotta talk to someone in order for him to become your boyfriend.
**Don't forget to keep showering!
Make sure he likes Netflix. Or Flamin' Hot Cheetos. Or something that you like. Cause yeah, oposites attract. But there's gotta be somethin'.
Now, it is important that you do not skip any of these steps.
If you don't skip any of these steps, you will get a relationship like this::
I'm going to run away. I'm not sure where to yet. But I'm going to.
Or, is it really running away if you already live on your own?
Hm. I'll have to think about that one.
Anyway. I'm still not sure where to go. I'm thinking Disneyland. Or, it's even possible, that maybe,
I don't know.
But wouldn't it be great to go to Neverland? No parents, and you still get to be a kid. You get the best of both worlds! I mean, don't get me wrong, I love my parents. I love hanging out with them. I'm even hanging out with them right now. And I love being an adult. Haha, just kidding about that one. But still. I love my parents.
you just have to,
leave the nest.
And, where better a place to go than Neverland?
The land of fairies and kids, and laughter and freedom, and mermaids!
I freaking would love to be a mermaid. But that's beside the point.
What I'm trying to say, through all of this crap, is this::
When you wanna run away?
Just go to sleep. Or just figure out how many hours until Christmas. Cause, you know, that's always fun.
But there is something else weighing on my mind. It's called life decisions. And it sucks. Oh well.
But not really oh well.
Cause this is my blog, and I get to say what I want.
Except here's the thing. Sometimes, when I want to talk about things on here, I worry that people actually read this and get annoyed.
So you have three options.
One. I could talk about how much life problems suck.
Two. I could talk about my awesome boyfriend.
Three. I could talk (type?) about Christmas.
You know what I'm going to do? Talk about all three!!
So, let's get started.
Life is hard. And sometimes it makes you cry. Even when you're with your awesome boyfriend.
-STORY TIME: Last night I was hanging out with my awesome boyfriend, and I started crying cause he didn't buy me Hot Cheetos. Except not really, I was crying cause I struggle with making life decisions. So I was sitting there crying, and my awesome boyfriend holds me until I stop. The End.-
So basically, I really like my awesome boyfriend, I sorta hate big life decisions, and CHRISTMAS!
Have I ever told you about Christmas at the Osmun's home?
Because, if I have, get ready to read about it again!
Just kidding. I don't wanna talk about what we do. Just what I want.
And, obviously, this:
(It has dinosaurs on it.. With the names of the type of dinosaur next to them... And it's a set..)
And, really, I don't know how to end this...
Can I just express my anger about the show 'How I met Your Mother'?
It was awesome. I loved it. I loved almost every second of it.
I was, to say the least, obsessed.
-Side Note:: I don't want to make obsession look.. Not serious. Obsession is a very serious thing, and people should not take it lightly. But, right now, I am. So.. Hashtag don't judge.-
I absolutely loved the show. It was awesome. The perfect amount of funny, story, and everything else. Until the last season.
SPOILERS ARE VERY REAL AT THIS MOMENT.
(Does that black line on the warning sign boarder look crooked to anyone else?)
I liked the idea of the whole last season being Barney and Robin's wedding. But, it got really confusing at times. Still, I could handle it.
But then, THEY GOT A DIVORCE. AND THE MOM DIED. AND TED WENT AFTER ROBIN. LIKE WHAT THE HECK HOW I MET YOUR MOTHER??
Okay. Calm down, Sierra. It's okay.
I just really didn't like how it ended up. It was stupid. Barney and Robin were supposed to stay together, and the mom was not supposed to die, and everything should have ended up fine.
All I'm sayin', is that I'm not the biggest fan of the ending.
But, also, a lot of people weren't. I just wanted you to know that I'm in that category.
So let's not think about it! Let's just think (and talk) about poop.
Poop is a funny thing, don't you think? Yeah. It is.
Poop is always there for you. Unless you have some sort of sickness and don't poop. But I'm just going to assume that you don't have that sickness, and that you do poop.
Because pooping is funny.
Poop is always there for you. Poop is your friend.
Poop is the poop for me.
No matter what, poop does not leave you.
Technically speaking, it does leave you. Your body that is. But you will always have poop. Until the day you die. And then a little after that.
Now, poop can come in all different shapes, and sizes (and colors... but that's gross).
So do friends (except, the color thing isn't gross when it comes to friends).
But, again, we are not talking about friends! We are talking about poop!
It doesn't get enough credit.
Just think of how happy it makes people! When you get that big poop out of your rear end, and you barely have to wipe? I call that a good day.
And I think a lot of people would call that a good day.
Or, think about when you're just a little on the constipated side, and you finally get all that poop out! It's awesome! You have to admit that.
But it's awesome.