When someone is dealing with something real to them;
they don't want to tell you.
sometimes when you let someone in enough to see the struggles you have, they walk the other way. Though it's hard to blame these people for leaving, it creates a serious feeling of abandonment. A feeling that you are, and always will be, alone. It makes there to be a need of secrecy, to hide your ugly. There is nothing more heartbreaking than finding out your ugliest layer of self is too ugly for someone you love to handle.
I just want you to understand something:
People with mental illness? They can't, just, snap out of it. They can't get better the next day. They just can't. If they could, they would.
Now let's talk about
How you don't really understand a lot of things sometimes.
You don't understand what it feels like to have no hope.
Don't post that you choose to stay, because there is always a tomorrow. Because you have friends and family counting on you. Because there are so many more things in life to do.
When you kill yourself, none of that matters. The only thing that matters is no longer feeling the pain.
No more crying yourself to sleep, or not being able to cry at all.
No more cutting yourself in places others can't see, because that's the only thing in life that brings you comfort.
So I know not a lot of people are gonna read this. Because my blog hasn't been too popular lately. But I hope Someone reads this and takes it to heart.
Because this right here? This is truth.
If you want more?
And if you need help:
Know you're not alone. There are a lot more of us out there than you think.
Friday, March 27, 2015
Here is a list of things that you need to know, if you are going to date me.
1. If you're not sure if I'm joking, it's safe to assume that I am. Almost everything that comes out of my mouth is a movie quote, or a joke.
2. I'm really not trying to be as awkward as I am. I don't think I'm awkward. I really don't. I think people make things awkward, not situations. And I, just, don't make things awkward for myself.
3. If you have "normal" or "cool" friends? I don't want to hang out with them. Please don't make me. They scare me.
4. I'd much rather watch Netflix for like, I don't know, the whole weekend, then go to a party. Unless it's a house dance party. Then I'll go.
5. Yeah, I can be the life of the party, but if I don't feel the vibe of the crowd cause they're cray, I'm out. I can't fake that crap.
6. I will randomly break out into dance. My range is from a punk kid at a school dance, to this:
(I'll just give you a second to let that soak in...)
7. I'll make weird faces for no reason. No reason at all.
8. I talk to everyone like I know them. I will act like they are my best friend, and make up a name and a whole back story. But they will just be some random stranger I just saw .65 seconds before you did.
9. I can listen to you for hours. I love listening to other peoples' problems, because it makes me feel not alone.
10. I'm really not as cool as I will look sometimes. Just wait for me to start talking.
11. I'm not afraid.
12. I also never get embarrassed. So if you do and feel that way, you gotta let me know.