Sometimes I feel ignored.

I don't like that. I feel as though no one cares about me or my opinion or what happens to me or anything. And I feel like I could run away and I could just live forever alone and no one would even care or think about me too much. But then, I think of that same situation, of me being gone that is, but with me being dead. And you know what, I think that people thing that is a little bit different than just running away. But is it really? Because, um, the people still wouldn't see me, and no one would really think about me too much, after a while anyway. And, I know people would say otherwise, but they really wouldn't care after a while either. I mean, some people would care for forever, like my mom and my dad. But others, like the people in my ward or my neighbors, wouldn't really care, or maybe not even notice really.

Sometimes I feel like all the attention is on me.

I don't like that either. Because people seem to mainly focus on the bad things most of the time. Or a lot of the time. And, I mean, everyone does it. And no, I'm not talking about me right now. I'm just going on a little side tangent about how people focus on the bad and not the good and I think it should be the other way around. Because there are just so many good things in this world. Like butterflies and paint and lasagna. You know? Anyway. When all the attention is on you it's either something that happened that was super good or super bad, or, SUPER good or SUPER bad. Depending on the level of what happened. And either way, I don't like it. I don't like having all the attention on me when it;s super good, cause then I feel very much pressured to say good things and have a good face on and be happy the whole time. But sometimes, I just get tired. And then, when I get all the attention because of something super bad, I want (or do) cry. Because, you know, the struggle is real and people are always mean when it's something super bad, and SUPER bad.

I don't know. This is the type of thing that I think about when I drive or listen to music with no words or go poop or blog.

I don't think I should be able to do any of those things. Well, except poop, because that is just required of the human body.