Nothing, But Something, To Say

Well, Hello.

I really want to write on my blog today. And I have written almost five different posts. Maybe i'll post them. Probably not.

For some reason, words are not coming to me today. For the first time in a long time, I don't know what to say.

I'm usually quite good with words. People tell me things, I can tell them the right things back.

That's why I want to be a psychologist.

So I can help people.

I listen to my friends problems, I listen to random peoples problems, I listen to whoever wants to talk.

I could say it's a gift? But I could also say that it's just what I love to do.

Only heaven knows why, but I adore it. I love listening to peoples problems, their worries and complaints, their issues and secrets. They'll apologize for 'telling me all of this' or 'dumping this on me' or 'being really annoying and just complaining'. And do you know what I always tell them?

'Don't be sorry, I love it. Keep going.' And you know why?

Because it's true.

I may not be able to help you all that much, I may not be able to fix all of your problems. But I can listen. I can give advice, I can stand by your side. I can be your rock. Your iron rod. And I will be. All you need to do is reach out your hand and grab onto mine. I will pull you up and dry you off, give you my jacket and hold you tight until you fall asleep.

I don't want you to hold back, I don't want you to feel unwanted, I don't want you to feel scared. I'm here, to stay. To help and to listen. Really truly.

And I don't judge. I don't know what you've been through, I don't know how your mind works, I don't know what it's like to be you. I don't judge. Why judge when you don't even know what you're judging?

I'm here to help.

Let me help you.

Sometimes...

When i'm home alone.. I sing opera

I play the ukulele in my room and pretend like i'm the big Samoan man on my ukulele book [I think that's who I really was in Heaven]

I want to cry. But I don't.

I miss my sister more than anything and want her to come home so we can paint together and sing songs

People are complete Jerks

There are pretend spiders on me when I think of real spiders.. -brushing my arm thinking it's a spider-

I laugh at myself when I look in the mirror and wonder 'WHERE DID MY BRACES GO?!!'

I crave mac n cheese [like right now]

It can just be one of those days

I pretend to be funny. It never works though.

I feel like a poet, even though i'm not even close to being one

I eat five hot pockets in one sitting

There are bad things and good things. And you feel like you're going to explode. But baby, you just gotta keep going, try to survive, and remember that after today, is a tomorrow with limitless possibilities.

I forget the reason i'm here

And Sometimes...

I just smile

Here's the thing.

Yesterday I painted a picture. A lovely picture. For my mother.

Then today I went to school. And there was a girl who painted a picture. For our art class.

Everyone was praising her and telling her what a good job she did.

I guess i'm just not that kind of person. The kind that goes around, telling people what I can do, what I have, what I just accomplished.

Like this blog. The fact that I do Irish dance [at a championship level, might I add]. That I play the ukulele. Or, the fact that I love to paint and do it all the time.

Now, I wouldn't say i'm very good. Because frankly..

I'm not.

But I love it and I get so caught up in the blending colors of the sunset, and trying to get those trees on the snowy mountain to look like they would from a helicopter and.. Well, I should stop before you start thinking that i'm a Major Freak about art.

All i'm saying is that..

I just really wanted to write on my blog.

Hi J-Jiz

Well, it's that time.

The time where I should really have been writing on my blog weeks ago. But I didn't and still haven't. But here we are, once again! Face to.. Computer screen.

How long have YOU been blog stalking for?

(It's A Bit Hard To Put Caps On The Beginning Of All Your Letters, Hm?)

Oh Oh I Know What To Put!

This is my English paper. I must say that I AM a bit proud of it.. Tell me what you think? (Jerrica, because you're the only one who reads my blog)

Here We Gooooo! (Said like in that Peter Pan Commercial.. Think hard.. Yeah, now you know what i'm talking about..)

(P to the S, the subject was "Life is Too Short..", then you had to finish the sentence.)

(P to the S squared, sorry about the funky spacing)

Sierra Osmun B3

Life is Too Short

Life is too short to just live. Don't just live. Do better. Change the world, and be the one who makes all of the difference. I believe that in this world, we have too much. Too much pain, too much hurt; too much sadness, too much suffering. Too much crying, tears, screams. Too much judgment. We have too much hate, harm, not enough help. I believe that we have too much depression. Darkness. Too, too much. My question is why. Why do we have all of this? Why don't we stop? If there's so much pain and hurt, why don't we help? Why don't we get out, and do something about all of this? Life is too short, people don't see that it's too short to not do something about all of the trouble we have in this world.

Too much pain. Too much suffering, sadness, and screams. There are the silent screams. The silent cries for help. If we only looked away from our selfish ways and glanced around us every once in a while, we would be able to see them all around us. Our eyes would be open to the suffering and the pain. The ones with the smiles on their lips, but tears in their eyes. The ones struggling for survival. Franklin D. Roosevelt once said "When you come to the end of your rope, tie a knot and hang on." We should be that knot. We should help, look around, and see the tears in those people’s eyes.

Too much hate, harm, not enough help. Too much judgment. Hating someone is pointless. Why use all of the energy to hate, when you could use the same amount of energy to love? Why hurt when you could help? Why judge, when you know nothing? Just a glance up and down, or a bump in the hall, can be someone's breaking point. Just a touch of the hand, or a friendly wave, can save someone’s life. No one knows exactly how someone lives, or what they have to live through every single day of their life. To some people, it might be nothing. But to others, it just might be everything.

Too much crying, too many tears. Too much darkness and depression. When you see someone crying in the hallway, most people would think or even say "What's her deal?" or, "that is so embarrassing, I would hate to be him." But why pity? Why don't you just go up to the person, and just give them a hug? Tell them you love them; say you believe in them, that they will pull through. I promise you, it would mean the world to them. Whether you know them, they're your best friend, you've never seen them in your life, or you even hate each other. A woman named Harriet Beecher Stowe said "When you get into a tight place and everything goes against you, till it seems as though you could not hang on a minute longer, never give up, for that is just the place and time that the tide will turn." Be that tide. Be the one thing that will change a person’s life for the better, for good. There is not enough love in the world to fight the depression off. There is not enough light to take over the darkness. But one heart, one smile, one word, can make all the difference.

The ones that leave school, to return to a broken home. Being there for their siblings, shielding them away from the cruel ways of the world in the closed door rooms. Cleaning, helping, and trying to make a living at seventeen for their family so they can eat, being strong for them. Trying to fix what has been broken. Finally, going to their rooms at night, hoping to sleep. But instead, staying up those hour-less nights, listening. Just listening. Hearing the screams of a mother, the yell of a father, the slap of a hand. One Japanese Proverb says "Fall seven times, stand up eight." Standing up again and again, picking one another up, being strong for themselves and others. That one person is the strength. The example. Maybe not showing it, maybe not letting people in, but surviving. Surviving this wicked world and taking care of others. That person is the one not judging, the one you are. The one with the tears in their eyes and the smile on their lips. The one who might really smile for the first time in months, if you just say hello with a genuine smile on your face and a warm look in your eyes. The one who may be crying in the hall, but may also be the one hugging the crier. Be like that person. Help, don't judge, smile, support, be an example. Be strong. Life is too short to just live.

'Clicks'

Hm.

Last year, around second semester, I was adopted into a group of friends. (For those of you who don't know, Lone Peak is very.. 'Clicky'. And it's.. Gr). So it was all fun and games. Except I felt like I had no personality and no humor and no nothing after being around these people for a while. But I still liked being around them, most of the time, and it was nice to actually have a 'click'.

So I stayed.

But this new school year started.. Basically I am out of that 'click'. They avoid me and do things without me and everything!

It's great fun.. For them, i'm sure.

And you know, I have more friends.. Just none I really hang out with a ton or have a lot of classes with. People at Lone Peak stay with their 'click'. They aren't willing to let you in their 'click'. And if you aren't in their 'click', you don't hang around them.

So here I am. Only the second week of school.

And 'click'-less.

I can tell this is gonna be an awesome year..

Anyone wanna trade me schools?

Oh man.

I've had at least three people tell me that they can't see the pictures.

Okay.. Only two..

Yes. So let me try again? C'mon, gimme one last chance!

Yes?

Okay.

All better?

I fear I still suck at putting pictures up..

You can figure out which picture is which.. Right?

Drama.

That word. That retched, retched word. I try to avoid AT ALL COSTS. But somehow, IT ALWAYS FINDS ME.

That is why I am friends with almost all guys. But no. Girls use me, to get to guys. I think they're becoming my friends and then suddenly, poof. Gone.

More drama..

Drama drama drama.

Oh poop.

Why is there even drama in this world??!

It makes absolutely no sense to me whatsoever.

Oh, did I tell you? I also found out that some of the moms of m friends have been talking about me too! Because sense i'm always hanging out with different guys, I MUST be using their sons. And I MUST not know what I want. And.. I should stop before I burn my toast or pull my leg off or something.

Anyways.

School started.

Whoopdee doo.

Oh oh and guess what?? MORE DRAMA!

Which brings me back to burning my toast.

But, this is for another time..

Or at least another post with a different post title.

Be expecting int shortly.

Minutes, shortly.

P to the S. Drama should go die in a hole filled with spiders, pickles, and girls..

Oh heavens. I forgot. I have a Blog.
Why must I forget so very often?

Hm.. Pictures.. Have I ever put up pictures? No? I don't think so either. It's about time I attempt, yes? Yes. Let's try this out.

Attempting....
Attempting....
Attempting....



Me to Jerrica: Oh my gosh Jerrica... That juice is NAKED!





I fear this one is a bit.. Sideways. Making my arm look huge and me and my friend Annie look.. Sideways. Enjoy our gorgeous faces. And yes, that IS stage make-up.


This is a TAD bit fun.. I think I'll keep going. And if you, my friend, are not enjoying it as much as I, well.. You may push that little red X in the corner of your screen.



Oh yes, and we also went and did baptisms in the SALT LAKE CITY TEMPLE.
It was, may I say, AMAZING.


One More?
Si?
Okay, if you insist.




Does that NOT look like an airplane to you? Me and my friend Hunt were cloud watch and.. Well.. We saw that! And I took a picture. That's all.


I'm thinking I should stop with the pictures for now. But there will mayber perhaps possibly be more to come soon-ish! Maybe.
Who knows at this point.

A Choice

"Happiness is a Choice"

That's what my dad always says.

We have a lot of choices, don't we?

Yes, there's the everyday choices everyone has:

Should you wake up to your alarm, or push snooze fifteen times? Should you actually get ready for the day, or wear a hoodie and have your hair in a pony tail.. Again? Should you pay attention in class, sleep, or write on your blog?

But then, there are the bigger choices. Choices with bigger consequences, both good and bad:

Should you go to church, or sleep in? Should you answer the three am call from my suicidal friend? Should you hurt yourself again? Should you listen to them, or live your life for you?

Everyone has the choice. The choice to be happy, the choice to smile and sing and laugh. The choice to dream, and fulfill your dreams. The choice to live life to its fullest. No one should get in the way of your dreams. Of your happiness.

Everyone should have a choice, a chance, to choose.

Ouchy Wa Wa

Spring break is a Cruel, Cruel taste of the summer that is yet to come..

Including Sleeping in, Staying up way to late, being Stress Free, Hangin... Scratch that: Chillin with friends. And, Of Course, The Sunburn.

This beautiful word, I just happen to hate at the moment.

A LOT.

Let me express to you, my feelings: I HATE SUMBURNS!!! SO FREAKIN BAD (So bad... Buy all of the things I never had...) Musical moment, Name that Song.

Last night was pure Torture. And now when I say torture, I mean one of the worst nights of my life. No joke.

I usually stay up until eleven, twelve, give or take the night. But last night, I stayed up until three-thirty. Just a little later than I had planned on.

You see, I sunburned my back and sholders when I went to Vegas the last weekend of the glorious soring break. I was there for a Feis (Irish Dance Competition). And, of course, it was Outside. Being the blonde I am, I forgot sunscreen. And in between my competitions, I would take off my dress. Wearing only a tank top and bloomers. Not. Smart.

Stinging and itching. I was hyper-ventilating and breathing hard, causing me to get a bit dizzy. I couldn't stop shaking and twitching. Tensing up and arching my back. I couldn't handle it all, and I was even half screaming. Not being able to even move.

At exactly twelve- thirty- something, I went into my parents room crying. Yes I don't like admitting the tears, but there were a lot.

Asking for a blessing, I thankfully got one from my loving pops. And my mom got me a oatmeal bath. And no, it did not help. We tried so many different things. Neosporin, special cream, ice, cold water, you name it- we tried it.

Finally my dad went to Walmart and got a magical tropical spray that was supposed to help it. And by now, it was about two in the morning. Spraying it on made it sting, and it still does when I put in on. But It still helped, a bit.

Finally, at three-thirty last night, I fell asleep. With a dear, dear friend calming me down and helping me the whole time. Oh so grateful for him.

This morning I went to school, and then got checked out of second period to go home because it hurt so badly. Went back to fourth to take a test.

They say the third day of a sunburn is the worst, the hump.

I hope they're right.

WEEELLLLL
It's been a while, eh?
While I've been gone I have:

• Gone on a magic carpet ride
• Proposed to a Kangaroo
• Become a champion pogo-stick jumper
• And not done any of these things

Now I know you're wondering, Why In The World Is This Girl Writing All This Pumpkin Seed Jucie??
Well, I have this dear friend named Lama and he desided that we were going to play. Okay, well we both decided.
So he got here and he showed me his piano skills, we ate breakfast for lunch, he showed me an amazing magic trick, and NOW we are writing on our Bloggitys.
Ain't that just grand?
Ammon Scott Loveless Blogs

New Friends

Ain't that feelin great?

Making new friends?

Yeah, it is.

Recently I have been talking to a lot more people than I used to. And by talking to these other people I have developed some new friend ships, I am hoping.

Now, we all hang out all the time! We go around town, or watch a movie, or just hang at someones house or the school. It's oodles of fun, I loovve it.

It's honestly an answer to my prayers. They don't know, but a lot of my 'friends' lately have become.. Less friendly towards me, and I still don't know what I did to cause this. But anyways, I have been praying that it will all work out and I can find better friends.

Well, I did! And they're all so amazing.

Thanks guys :)

Heaven

1/2 cup shortening
1 egg
1/2 cup sour cream
1 tsp. baking powder
1/2 tsp. baking soda
1 cup graduated sugar
1 tsp. vanilla
2 2/3 cups flour
1/2 tsp. salt
Mix the shortening, sugar, egg, vanilla, and sour cream first. Then mix in the rest of the ingredients. Chill for one hour and then roll out on floured surface. Use desired cookie cutters and cook on uncreased pan at 425 degrees for 6 minutes.

A.k.a. Heaven.
Yes, these sugar cookies make me wanna die so I can eat them all day everyday in Heaven. They are so good that the dough is even good!
Now, you cookers out there know that sugar cookie dough isn't the best tasting dough in the world. But once you taste this dough, you might cry. And once you taste the warm, freshly baked sugar cookies you may never want to eat anything ever again.
But you will have to eat cottage cheese and mandarin oranges, broccoli and cheese, lasagna, and Ritz crackers. But thats okay! Because you will soon make yet another batch of Heavenly sugar cookies, and go back to eating the whole batch plus half the dough.
But I don't see anything wring with that.
Do you?

Bff?

I'm confused too.
About two (three?) years ago I made a very dear and close friend. We told each other just about everything that there is to tell a person without, well, exploding. Deepest darkest secrets, biggest fears, life long dreams, problems, happy memories, guilty pleasures, hidden talents, passions, everything. He became the closest friend I ever had and I loved him from the bottom of my heart.
But, around six months ago, this dear friend (who's real name will be remain unknown, but for the sake of this lovely post, we will name Patrick) started to distance himself from yours truly.
Yes, you could say this hurt. Because, quite honestly, it did. I felt oh so alone. But of course, I still had my other friends, my parents, and my sisters. But I guess Patrick was different. Everyone has that one friend, you know? The one you trust with your ever being and you can tell them anything, without being scared or nervous? Yes, that was my Patrick.
Well anyways, like I said, Patrick stopped talking to me. He wouldn't call me, email me, or really say anything to me in any way, shape, or form.
As you would have guessed, I was quite sad. I wanted to cry because I had just lost my best friend. And one day, I asked him what I did wrong. Nothing he said, nothing at all. But why wouldn't he talk to me? I don't know, and he wouldn't and still won't tell me.
I miss my best friend.
I miss Patrick.
But every night I would still pray for my dear friend, and I still do. And I would pray to find a new best friend who would not leave me, and be forever with me. Which, I think, God graciously gave me. We will give him the name of Henry.
Henry is an amazing person. He is oh so strong, with many trials that he has overcome. He is happy, smart, nice, he listens, he helps, and he amazes me every day without even knowing it. He is amazing. I can tell him anything and get his honest opinion and real help. And even better, we trust each other completely. And I don't think he will ever leave like my dear friend Patrick did.
Now, lately me and Patrick have been talking again. For about... two weeks now. But We really haven't 'connected' like we used to. And then he stopped talking to me again for four days. It still makes me sad. But I know I have Henry to help me.
Henry is my best friend.
He won't leave me.

Tell Her She's Beautiful

You are Beautiful.
There is no doubt.
You are Beautiful.
Inside and out.

If you ever have one of those days where you just feel horrible, like someone is pulling and sucking in your insides into a big black hole, just remember: You Are Beautiful.
No, I'm not only talking to you girls. I'm talking to the boys out there too. You all have no idea how amazing and beautiful you all are. I go down the hallways at school everyday just thinking 'Wow. These people are so beautiful.' And I'm being honest. Everyone is so beautiful in their own way. Beauty on the outside, and from inside of you all. Yes, all.
It amazes me how others don't see the beauty from within themselves.

So the next time your having one of those horrible, tear pulling, depressing days, Just remember:
You
Are
Beautiful

?

Is anyone out there?
Is anyone listening?
No?
Okay...

Well, I guess I'll write anyways.
Hello. Its 11:31 and I'm kind of really tired. But no, I won't be going to sleep anytime soon. Why, you ask? Well because I'm a teenager and I feel like it should be my right to stay up late on a Friday night!
So here I am... Sitting on the computer... Writing on my blog... Wow...
I have no social life what-so-ever.

Dance Hangover

You know that feeling?

You feel Physically and Emotionally tired? You don't want to wake up, and when you are awake you don't want to move? And then you go and just about die every night?

Well that, my dear friends, is called a Dance Hangover.

Your just plain exhausted. Your trying to cram Dance, School, and even Sleep into your life all at once. Now when I say 'Dance' I don't mean an hour and a half every other day. But four or five hours everyday. Yes, you heard me correctly. Four or five. Every day.

Getting home at around eleven thirty every night does not help with anything. I take a shower (for those have lately become an essential), and stay up until maybe one, falling asleep doing homework. Waking up in the morning is a burden. Not just hard, but pure torture. Im adapting to sleep deprivation now. Falling asleep at school, which is NOT helping my grades. I just need to pass tenth grade.

We, as in the SHELLEY IRISH DANCE COMPANY (SIDC), have been putting on a show. IRELAND: The Dance Experience. It's really a lovely show. Fast costume changes, high energy dances, the whole sha-bang. Going from Ireland Pub Bar Tender, to Zombie, to a fairy and more. Quite the elaborate show really.

In the rush of dance, I have found myself slowly becoming anti social. Sleeping and zoning at school, coming home and doing homework, going strait to dance and strait home late at night doesn't leave much room to socialize. Of course, I do have facebook, my phone, and this lovely blog of mine (which.. no one reads?). But when it comes to friends coming over and hanging out, thats a negative commander. Therefor, I have no life.

School Dance Sleep School Dance Sleep School Dance Sleep.

Lovin' life, eh?

I need a nap..