Pity Party

It's been a while, hasn't it?

I must warn you, this is not going to be the happiest post in the world. If you're in the mood to laugh or smile or just not be sad, this probably isn't the post for you. But here it is, plain and simple.

And Sad.

There are quite a few things that have been going on. But i'd rather not spill out all my feelings and secrets on a blog that, though few read, still can. But there are still some things that I don't completely mind typing about. So here we go.

[For those who don't know, I hurt my left foot on December 1st. Long story short: the doctors thought it was the tendons so they stuck me in a boot for 2 weeks, it didn't heal so I went to a Podiatrist and then 3 appointments later and 2 MRI's I had an extra bone found, and I need(ed) it removed]

Early this morning, 4:38 to be exact, I was in the car on my way to Provo. The Provo Surgical Center to be exact. By 5:02 I was sitting in one of the uncomfortable, and unsettling, waiting room chairs. While my mom sat and did all of the paper work needed, I sat and stared at the news blasting with color on the TV in front of me, I tried not to think about the surgery.

You know, throughout the whole thing, and still, I just talked and smiled. Making jokes, remembering all of the doctors names, making everyone in the prepping room laugh and smile. But inside, I was screaming.

At about 6:15 I was being wheeled into a white, matching covered room. I had orange liquid dropped into my Iv, my hand started to sting, and the next think I knew I was waking up with a big cast on my foot. 7:24 (about) I woke up with a cut in my foot and one less bone. Numb and tired, I talked to my mom. Not making a lot of sense, and not really understanding what people were saying.

Now i'm home. I can't leave the house until Monday. I have to use crutches and not put any pressure on my foot for a week. I'll be taking 2 pain pills twice a day every day for a while.

This is Miserable.

People don't realize how hard this is. I just got to one of the top levels of Irish Dancing. I was supposed to be healed in 2 weeks. And now it will be at least 2 1/2 months before I can even think about dancing. I will be in unreal pain for the next week. And I feel like crying every second of the day. The only thing I was looking forward to was keeping the bone they were removing, but it turned out to be illegal..

PITY PARTY. Who wants to come?